December 2009
6 posts
Note to self: →
Never visit The Internet Is Terrible ever again.
It's not really a secret though... →
Every time I comment on a PostSecret on here, I get accused of being its owner. Well, this week one of the secrets really does belong to me. Guesses welcome. (I feel famous again.)
: :: : →
During my last day of senior practicum (pre-student teaching, I guess?), I was forced to listen to a parent-teacher conference between my clinical instructor and a mother whose son was having…
-isms →
As I promised, more stupid things my clinical instructor has said… —-
Dumbass teacher, to 10-year-old students: “Keep your eyes open for Miss Kristen’s professor who’s coming to observe her….
I'm famous! →
I’m in the latest QC strip, panel 1. Weird. I’ve never even met Jeph; how does he know what I look like? Creepy.
Well that was fast →
This morning, I got up, got ready, packed my things, and pulled out of my parking spot in the carport to go to school. Upon my return, I found that I was unable to pull back into my parking spot…
November 2009
7 posts
Actually, it was supposed to be under "Man Jam" →
I called in a carry-out order at Cracker Barrel today, and they put it under the name “Love Butter.” What’s worse, the cashier was a sweet little old lady, and it was so hard to keep a straight face…
Good thing I didn't bother applying →
My fifth graders are already discussing the ACT scores needed to get into Vanderbilt University. Apparently, it’s a 30.* *Looks like I just missed it. So much for being impressive to a bunch of…
Blunt, fatty, joint →
Little student dude, holding up a ten-year-old snapshot of his teacher: “Who’s this in this picture with you?” Teacher: “Oh, that’s ol’ Bo. Doobie’s son. Do you know Doobie Johnson?” Little student…
It makes Jesus cry, you know* →
I want to stab out the eyes of everyone who puts up a Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. *Was that over the line?** **Nah.
Shitshitshitshitshitshit →
I forgot to take my online geology quiz again. They always have a Saturday-at-midnight deadline. Guess when I remembered it? You guessed it. Shortly after midnight.
GASP →
I did something a few days ago that I have not done in forever. It’s something that I think I’m not proud of. I’m not quite sure what to think. I guess I’ll just let you, my dear reader, be the…
I feel so smart... →
…because I know how to pronounce the last name Goralczyk. Suck on that.
September 2009
25 posts
Case in point →
For anyone following my most recent rant re: religion: Today, in the 5th grade class that I’m observing for practicum, some Gideons came in to distribute Bibles to the students. A.) Some dude…
OH MY GOD MY HAND* →
I’m the most popular person among the fifth graders now, just because I can do this: These kids are easily impressed. *Just kidding.
PostSecrets sometimes hit close to home →
This could almost be one of mine about last night. Almost. If there was one that said “I made my boyfriend’s best friend grab my boobs right in front of him,” it could definitely be mine. …
So apparently I'm (in)famous now →
Had an enlightening (ha ha) conversation with a girl from school this morning… Let’s call her “Cat Lady.” Cat Lady: “I forgot to turn off my alarm so I got up at 6AM on my day off. I’m gonna work…
Sammich →
We get really hungry on Thursdays since we have class from 8 AM until after 2 PM with no break. So a couple of us started having classroom picnics, complete with a cooler full of various meats and…
Easily amused →
Capt. Awesome and I spent an afternoon feeding ping pong balls to an overwhelmed storm drain. I hope I never grow up.
Something smells fishy →
rof.com
Savvy Cavy →
I’ve temporarily traded Steve for a Chevy Cavalier (2005 model, if I’m not mistaken) while he gets his tailgate fixed (I figured it’s best to take care of this while I’m still on my stepdad’s…
But where the hell is my camera?! →
I am currently driving behind behind a trailer that is transporting a camel. Yes, a camel. What an awesome way to start the day!
Dumbest things ever: →
Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
Victory! →
People with ‘no religion’ gain on major denomination. (USA Today) *dance dance shake shake flaunt* (Although I don’t really believe this is accurate—not down here in Ye Olde Bible Belt…
*We're not talking about Mick, hon →
Today, my science education teacher spent the first few minutes of class talking about Irish car bombs and Jägerbombs (what this had to do with her lecture, I’ve yet to figure out). You’d just have…
Bleh →
I skipped my practicum (same thing as an internship, I suppose) today due to sickness, but the guilt of not going makes me feel worse than actually being sick. And also the dread of all the paperwork…
3 things I've learned in the past week: →
Phenergan also works on allergies (I didn’t realize until I looked it up just now that it’s a medically-recognized antihistamine, as well as an antiemetic), though it knocks me out more efficiently…
Bull Moose →
Just find a man with a soft voice and a “big stick.”
Fuck fuck fuck →
Is it ever going to fucking stop raining down here? Goddamn! I’m going to try to appease the sun gods by painting myself with SPF 70 and performing an anti-rain dance as I light an umbrella…
Guess I'm not cool then →
Actually logged onto my Facebook today… It’s getting to the point that FB is the only way to get in touch with people from school. I think it’s just because they’re always on there playing…
Eddie Vedder would be so proud →
My fifth graders, like everyone else, can’t remember my name. Except for one. One little dude asked me, “What’s your name again?” So I told him. Dude: “Really? Like the song?” Me: “Um, yeah. Just…
Three girls and a dildo* →
I have a couple of friends with whom I carpool to and from school. Let’s call them Bling and Bitch. Bling, after making Bitch stop so I could buy her some cigarettes: “Damn it, I forgot my lighter….
=( →
This PostSecret makes me want to cry. Last time… I didn’t stay.
TGIF →
Sleep in really, really late (8:54 AM).*
Take long bath and sing along to the radio.
Do laundry. Lots and lots of laundry.
Eat a Toaster Strudel.
Go to bank, deposit money (yay, money).
Plan to…
Soshlism →
Reblogged.
Note to vegetarians: Don't read this one →
My fifth grade wards were instructed to write a three-point expository paragraph on their favorite foods; I patrolled the rows to make sure everyone was on task. I stopped by one rather rotund girl’s…
Fifty percent? →
A sobering exchange I overheard among my fifth grade wards: Troubled Kid: “Is the counselor in her room? I need to talk to her…” Kid with Braces (mockingly): “I need to talk to the counselor….
I would have been the luckiest kid ever →
In 1993 a group in the United States calling itself the “Barbie Liberation Organization” modified Barbie dolls by giving them the voice box of a talking G.I. Joe doll, and secretly returned the…
August 2009
56 posts
Grey matter matters →
I couldn’t sleep last night because our dogs convened directly under my window and barked at the moon or the wind or Bigfoot or whatever was out there for hours. Naturally, my sleep-deprived brain…
And one other thing... →
…Go see Inglourious Basterds.
Holy shit →
[Warning: Fangirl mode activated and fully engaged.] I was driving along, paying no attention whatsoever to the radio, until I heard an unfamiliar song that sounded suspiciously like it was…
Contingency →
The probability of the university servers crashing is directly proportional to their degree of necessity to students. They need a backup for their backup for their backup if you ask me.
That's exactly how I feel... Except for the... →
What If It’s an Acquired Taste? Woman #1: Hey, check this out. Woman #2: What? Gross! Is that bacon? Is there really bacon in there? Woman #1: Looks like it. Cashier: I haven’t personally tried…
Life goals: →
Find independence and happiness
Never stop learning
Own a clawfoot bathtub
Maldigo a mi familia al infierno →
I don’t understand my mother’s logic. She refuses to help me pay Steve’s insurance or upkeep costs because, as she likes to put it, he’s “not mine anymore.” (She’s still pissed that I had Steve…
R.I.P. →
My sister is distraught because her husband died. She accidentally killed him, and she’s doubly upset because she’s been scrubbing his innards out of her carpet. She broke the news to me when I got…
Nomenclature →
I’m changing my name to Third Wheel Charlie. That is all. Signed, Third Wheel Charlie
*And just plain tired →
I’m already tired* of school and today was only my first day. It’s going to be a long semester.
In the gutter →
Ceratocephala testiculata sounds dirty. Especially since “cerato” literally means “horny” in Latin. It’s actually a type of flower. Perv.
Kid in a candy store →
Still playing with my new computer. I’m pretty impressed with it overall, especially considering that it’s a midrange machine at best—and a low-end midrange at that. And I actually don’t hate Vista…